Wednesday, October 25, 2006

anxious happiness

its wednesday evening and ive been thinking about friday.

if everything goes alright,

friday i will have completed all materials for my degree.

its an amusing thought over a cup of earl grey. really.



and for a tic there, i really forgot about the exams.

but its a good thought still.

Posted by nidya at Wednesday, October 25, 2006

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Sunday, October 22, 2006

waiting for the sunset

its just few hours away to the end of ramadhan.

its been a weird month to me.

havent been in my best behaviour the way i shouldve spent being.


it is said that during this month the demons are locked down.

they cannot allure people to do bad stuffs. so clearly,

its been beyond great. sorta kicked me in the head too.

i learned that it doesnt take a demond to behave badly.

it takes me.


so yes ill stop thinking that the lucifers the devils the monsters

the whisperers and the dark figures in the corner

are responsible for making me do things that i shouldnt.

theyre just pretending taking the blame and delirious about it.


and oh no, they'll come back again bruised and battered tomorrow.

what am i gonna say to them?

i dont wanna make them too happy, you know.

Posted by nidya at Sunday, October 22, 2006

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Tuesday, October 17, 2006

when the sun is just a sun

while some days are unlike any other,

many days are just like any other.

like copies from days before, many conversations repeat themselves.

its creepy when i feel bland and disinterested.


that sky is blue almost everyday.

and Neighbours is on channel ten every weekdays.

and Big Issue man sells zines on his exact spot every morning.

its as if we're all waiting for something.


and im not sure what im waiting for.

definitely not the fifth stamp on my coffee card.

it should be something better than a free latte.

something worth waiting.


october neednt be a blank month in this blog.

and i thought if i look around long enough,

there'd be a poetry to be found and pondered.

perhaps i forgot to let it happen naturally.


i learn, that sometimes life lacks lyricism.

and i dont like it.

ive tiny inner resources to feed my senses let alone others.

like i need to listen to difranco, read alchemist, or watch forrest gump

just to feel.


yea i do like dramas. conflicts. solutions.

but as long as they didnt occur to me. nothing radical at least.

with this state of mind, im not going anywhere extreme am i?

now surprisingly i dont know whether this is a good or a bad thing.

im still deciding.


in the mean time,

im enduring more ordinary days to come

by romanticising them anywhere i can.

although lately it gets tougher.

Posted by nidya at Tuesday, October 17, 2006

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